We all know the rest of the world doesn’t “get” what it’s like to live with diabetes. Many think it’s the disease of fat people who eat too many donuts, and we just need to get off our collective asses and go for a walk, so we’ll all be cured. Forward your thank you notes to just about any mass media outlet for that prevalent misconception. If people are paying attention, they might notice the pump tubing and realize it isn’t a phone, or worse, a beeper, the surreptitious fingersticks, the dazed expression of a low BG. They aren’t privy to the perpetual mental purgatory where you are forever destined to obsess about how much insulin you took, how much you should take, what you should or shouldn’t eat and how many carbs might be hiding in it, and how this, that or the other thing is going to affect your blood sugar. All the bleeping time. Arguing. Cooking. Conversing. Dancing. Decorating the Christmas tree. Doing laundry. Driving. Funerals. Gardening. Graduations. Grocery shopping. House hunting. Job interviews. Masturbation. Meetings at work. Mini-golf. Movies. Participating in sports. Parties. Playing games. Reading. Sex. Shoveling snow. Showering. Signing up for a checking account. Sleeping. Standing in line at airport security. Taking exams. Trying on clothes at the mall. Vacationing. Walking the dog. Watching TV. Weddings. It interrupts everything.
—Lee Ann Thill, The Butter Compartment
It’s after 2 a.m., and I should be sleeping.
Except for the fact that I can’t.
I’ve had two glasses of orange juice already but I can still feel my blood sugar dropping.
There are so many reasons for me to just go to bed. I have nine hours of work starting tomorrow morning at a brand new job that I literally have an hour and a half’s worth of experience at, not to mention it’s a football Saturday so saying it will be a “busy day” is a gross understatement. I really don’t need to add sleep deprivation to that list.
But all of that reasoning is shattered into oblivion due to the simple fact that my blood sugar is low and I can’t go to bed until I’ve fixed it.